CEP SEASON TWO EP:19 - WITH GUEST DUSTIN STRADLEY
By Dave Mckeown and Nathan Benger
The Church Explained podcast is a conversation to help grow your leadership, develop your team and build your church. Your hosts will be Dave Mckeown and Nathan Benger. We talk about all things leadership with key team players from IKON Church and other guests during each show.
Welcome to Season 2 Episode: 19 of the Church Explained Podcast with guest Dustin Stradley from Elevation Church.
A Short bio
Dustin has been married to Maddie for four years, and they have just had their first daughter, Jovie Catherine. He has been in vocational ministry for nine years and is currently the regional pastor overseeing and leading multiple Elevation Church campuses throughout Florida in the US.
In part two of the conversation, Dustin shares four keys they use at Elevation Church to help develop leaders. He also explains the importance of focusing on our WHY rather than on our WHAT.
Part two is also packed with some fantastic leadership insights.
SHOW NOTES
FULL TRANSCRIPT
David Mckeown 0:00
Hey everyone, welcome to the church explained podcast a conversation to grow your leadership and build your Church today we've got an amazing guest, we've got Dustin straggly the whole way from Florida.
David Mckeown 0:19
And I like what you've said that it's this idea of learning from other people around is. And even even if they haven't got the same experience as us, they've got they have their own experience, which they can add into our lives not into our Church. And sometimes people have a great ideas and we've just got to have an openness as leaders, I think, to listen to them and take on board with humility. I think these days, we've got to take it on board with humility. And believe actually, they've got something valued to give, you know, yeah,
Dustin Stradley 0:52
for sure. Yeah. Easier said than done.
David Mckeown 0:57
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. You're living you're living right now. That's the thing. So it's great to hear promptly roll. Uh, you know, all those changes, I'd love to see that they are in deep, a little bit of a con to be a little bit nosy. Bring it on, a little bit nosy almost to get behind the scenes a little bit. Obviously, you're working with love the campus Pastor as your your key thing is to obviously inspire them, equip them train them. I wonder if you could give us a little bit of a sneak preview? What does that look like? How do you guys training people at LDS Church? What do you do? Because obviously, you're producing some amazing leaders. And, and I think there's something maybe we can glean from you guys. So I wanted to just share a little bit behind the scenes stuff of what's happening.
Dustin Stradley 1:47
For sure, let me give you I thought about this earlier, because I thought I thought it's a good question. I don't know that we have a specific programme, or a formulated way of doing this. Yeah, but I did. I did come up with four, four principles that I think had been helpful in developing and building are our campus pastors. So I'll give you all four and then I'll break them down real quick. Number one would be Learn, learn number two would be in power. Number three would be ask. Number four would be demand. So learn, what are you learning about yourself and what are you learning about others? Because leaders are learners, they have to be there is no one size fits all tool to build all leaders. Every person has a unique genius. So how I lead Dave may look different from how I lead Nathan. Because Dave is wired differently than Nathan. God has created us all unique according to his image with different gifts, different strengths, different weaknesses, all these things combined. So we have to learn about the people that we lead. There is no formula that if I apply this formula to every person that I lead, I will get x results. So constantly asking the people leave. What are you learning about the people you lead? What are their love languages, what energises them what discourages them? How do they best receive feedback? Do they do they need words of affirmation? Do they need you to spend time with them? What is most meaningful to them, learn about the people that you leave but also learning about yourself. One of the best investments you can make is, is to invest into yourself. So if I'm not aware of my tendencies, if I don't know my own strengths, if I don't know my own own areas of weakness, if I don't know where I can best add value, then I have nowhere to aim. So leader learners to empower. So don't just see people as a means to get things done. But see getting things done as a means to build people. So this isn't just delegating task. Well, I've got a lot on my to do list today, Dave. So I'm going to find five people to take it off my plate so I can be freed up to go play basketball. But instead, how can I see each one of these opportunities as as an opportunity to build someone to be a better husband, a better mom a better leader to build a better human being. So what are the tasks and projects This may be something I asked one of my leaders, and I'm asking myself that you're holding on to that you need to empower someone else to own. And how can you see this as an opportunity not just to get things off your plate, but an opportunity to build them into being a better leader. So helping them to discover their own gifts for inviting them into the budgeting process, which then will help them with their own personal budgeting, which then now helps them to build up financial blessings for their wife and children and their children and their children. Third, would be ask a SK ask. If you keep telling people what to do, they'll always wait for your next command. But ask asking questions, guiding them to a solution. Instead of just giving them a solution. That's better development. So something Pastor Craig Groeschel asked on his podcast recently, or it was an exercise. He said on a scale of one to 10. How good of a listener? Are you in developmental conversations? And the way you can discover that is ask the people on your team. Ask your your spouse, and then try to ask five questions before ever offering any suggestions. And men men are particularly not great at this. Yeah, we hear someone present the problem we want to bring.
David Mckeown 6:48
Yeah, but what
Dustin Stradley 6:49
if we want to fix it? But what if instead, we asked five questions, and maybe we lead them to the same solution we had in their our mind in the first place. But now there's more power in them discovering it than me giving it the last one would be demand. Pastor Steven Furtick, my mentor, my leader, my Pastor, once said, God doesn't demand what he doesn't deposit. The demand placed on you is an indication of the deposit in you. And Larry Bry, one of our other pastors once told me, he said, the greatest compliment I can give you is to demand more of you. So placing a healthy demand. And I don't mean to be let's not take it out of context, be a demanding leader. It doesn't give you licence to be a jerk. It doesn't give you licence to not be sensitive to all the different responsibilities someone's carrying as a dad or mom or in the workplace or within the Church or within the business. But just like weightlifting, like oftentimes I think in my mind, this is all I can do. But one of my workout buddies, he said, You can do more than that. I was like, probably not. He said, Yes, you can really put more weight on the bench. And by him putting more weight on the bench and it putting more of a demand on me. It showed me that I had more in me. The demand indicates the deposit. Because of that, I grew in confidence, I became stronger, I was able to lift more weight. So one question you could ask is what who is one person you currently lead that you need to put more on. And once you identify that person, what's one way you can demand more of them this week. And I'm just thankful for the people who called things out of me that I didn't know was in me. Almost every opportunity even within our ministry or even before stepping into vocational ministry, public speaking used to be my biggest fear. Wow. And I remember at a sales conference, I was there to learn, just take notes sit in the back and there were about 700 people at this conference. And one of the executives there he calls me over to the side. He said, Hey, one of our speakers just cancelled. I want you to get up and speak. So you obviously don't know. I was like you obviously don't know me. Well, he was I know you have a gift. He's like you're a communicator. So I've never spoken in front of 700 people and you're only given me an hour's notice to figure out what the heck to say to them. And many of them are way smarter than I am. He said You're gonna do great. He gave me quick two or three minutes It's worth the handles, told me to be myself and just tossed me up there. And it was like that kind of demand that was placed on me. That showed me that there was there was something in me that God had placed something in me. And I could give you story after story of people who demanded something of me demanded more of me and it felt overwhelming. Now, of course, if there's so much weight on the bench, that I can't get it off my chest, I also had leaders who cared enough to come and spot me and pull the pull, pull, pull the weight up so that I didn't, I didn't get injured. And we have to be sensitive to that. Yeah. But those are some of the things that, that I started thinking through when developing our campus Pastor, developing different staff members, developing leaders in general. Help them to learn about themselves, help them to learn about the people they lead, empower them as an opportunity to build them, ask them lots of questions, and then put a great demand on them. So they can, they can get stronger and grow into who God has created them to be.
David Mckeown 11:01
Yeah, I love that. And just, let's recap those four things. Because you had ownership in there. What else did you have that ownership. So
Dustin Stradley 11:10
I had had, I had, well, I had to learn, I had to learn I had Empower I had asked and I had demand, which spells the word lead, by the way is to make the word lead.
David Mckeown 11:24
That is useful, actually, that's useful for people who are not quite thinking this afternoon. So lead I love, I love that. And I think there's some amazing stuff in there. And there's something powerful about actively listening to people. You know, people are here on your staff or on your team. Like one of the things I had to I want to say read learn, as I was doing some training about beer culture, like a leadership coach, was this idea of actively listening? Yeah, so in other words, previously, previously, before them, if someone was with me having a conversation, I would be thinking of the next thing to say to them to try and help them and solve their issue. By by doing that, I wasn't really listening. So so that was a big mind shift.
Dustin Stradley 12:16
Trouble in our marriages? Yeah,
David Mckeown 12:19
absolutely. Absolutely. And I think there's something in that about listening actively. So one of the things I do is like, if I coach people, you know, listening is not just about the verbal communication. But the best questions come out of what you see what you hear, and what you sense in the space. So what you see what you hear, and not just the words, because actually our bodies, say a lot of stuff into
Dustin Stradley 12:46
notes. I'm taking notes, make some notes.
David Mckeown 12:49
But it's a real great skill to learn, rather than trying to think, Hey, I've got to get the next question to that person, I've got to get the next answer. I just discovered by doing that, you're not really being present with them, you're not really listening to them where they're at. So I would encourage all leaders, like even if you're not coaching, like if you're with people, truly, if you want to truly listen to them, don't form a question in your head that you're going to give them. Listen to them first.
Dustin Stradley 13:18
And it's one of the greatest gifts we can give someone is our presence like being present. And that's a rare commodity in today's culture. Yeah, we're so distracted. I can easily be in a podcast with you thinking about the meeting that starts from 30 minutes from now that I'm missing the gift that you are to me in this moment. But then in the next meeting, I'm thinking about the never ending to do list I'm trying to accomplish before the Sabbath, and I'm back can easily get distracted. So this is a struggle for me. And my counsellor when Maddie and I went through premarital counselling, he challenged us on this, to start to listen to one another, and then to repeat back to one another what we're hearing so similar, even if it sounds Elementary, to my wife, and she's way better at it than I am and most females are. I will say, Okay, babe, what I'm hearing you say is and then repeat back to her word for word what I heard her say, and sometimes she'll say that's not what I said.
David Mckeown 14:34
Or something else.
Dustin Stradley 14:37
But it's also good practice for for leaders in relationship building. So sometimes we'll do a roleplay where we'll have leaders in a room and and so there's three levels. There's easy, medium, and hard and we're gonna start easy, where Dave says, my favourite Starbucks beverage is Nitro Cold Brew. And then I say what I'm hearing you say is your favourite Starbucks beverage is Nitro Cold Brew. Oh, that's easy. Great. And if I said it perfectly, then we can move on to the next round. If I did not that Vegas to call me out, he's like, Nope, that's not what I said. I said, my favourite drink. I didn't say beverage. I said drink. And it's like, even just the small nuance of missing a word. Yeah. I don't like cold brew. But I do like Nitro Cold Brew. So if I tell you my favourite beverage is Nitro Cold Brew, and the day brings me a cold brew. That's the that's that's where that's where marriage conflict happens, right?
David Mckeown 15:32
Yeah, I tell you what, there's some useful stuff in here. It's sometimes stuff like this seems very elementary, but it's often the small things like this that people miss. And I just want to encourage leaders like, listen, listen to this, put it into practice your if you're in a staff meeting or with your team, like, truly listen, because actually, people will feel so much more valued by that listening, would they? So it's fantastic.
Dustin Stradley 15:59
You said it earlier. Last thing I say is you said it earlier like we as leaders feel pressured to always have a response, always have the solution. And oftentimes, when people come to us, they don't really even Want our advice. Let's be honest, I'm learning that more and more. Yeah. Hey, Dustin, I got a question for you. And I'd love your advice on what I should do. And I already know they probably are made up their mind on what they should do. They really just want someone to listen. So returned the question. I'm like, Well, Dave, what do you think you should do? And Dave's like, Well, I think I should do this. And it's like, okay, well, then maybe you should do that, Dave. And then it's like, oh, my gosh, thank you, Dustin, that was so helpful. Thank you that was meaningful. I'm like, all I did was listen, and return the question.
David Mckeown 16:45
Yeah, that was the best advice I ever had. It was yoga. Yes, of course, challenge as much as zero. Hey, let's just got a few more questions in the podcast, but when I asked you, then what do you think? Like just in your contacts, or even a wider leadership context? What do you think's the biggest challenge that young leaders are facing? And how do you address them?
Dustin Stradley 17:14
It's probably not just young leaders. It's many, many leaders and many people, but we have an identity crisis. In a performance driven culture, where validation is found in, in likes, in approval, the temptation is to lead to be liked, instead of leading confidently based on conviction. So if I'm starting from the place of how can I get more influence? How can I get more likes? How can I win more people over not inherently bad questions, but maybe not the best starting point. Because in the in the pursuit of influence, it may be easy to compromise identity. And my identity can be found in what I do instead of who I am. Or my identity is then shaped by who others want me to be instead of who I am, in my core. And when I don't know who I am, I can compromise my character and core values for more influence in our culture. So it's again, starting with its identity crisis of finding, I went through this big time coming out of the pandemic. You strip away the microphones you strip away the the room with 1000s of people. I was travelling and speaking all over the world at one point, social media influence was growing and then pandemic happens. Everything is stripped away. Now, who am I? And I had a bit of an identity crisis, because my identity was in what I did, not who I truly am. And, and it's interesting, especially in the world of social media, and just, you know, as we evolved culturally in different aspects, how much of you know, us like the biggest challenge for young leaders is leading from a place of, of how can I how can I get more legs? How can I win them over? How can I say the sexiest thing, how can I say the most tweetable thing? How can I just put together this little package in which everyone's going to reshare and it's not just social media, but then you can easily begin to compromise Eyes, who you are at your core and your values. And it's an interesting, interesting dynamic that many of us leaders are wrestling through.
David Mckeown 20:10
Yeah, I think you're right there. And I think many leaders would have faced very similar challenges during the pandemic, and that sort of blocked on not doing the things they were normally doing, whether they were preaching every week, or leaning and doing stuff, and then suddenly, now have another, not having, you weren't doing that in the same way. So it was a big shift for people really. So yeah, I think you're right or something right identity, and to be secure in who we are, rather than, like trying to get all the likes, and, as you say, tend to be the funniest person on stage. You know what I mean? Because all that comes and goes, but actually, the stuff we're about as leaders is bigger than that. And more important, right? Yeah.
Dustin Stradley 20:56
Right. Yeah. Like, can I rest easy at night, knowing that, that God loves me. Regardless of how I perform today, God loves me. He's not mad at me. He's not disappointed. He's not discouraged, that God loves me that He is pleased with me that he is for me that he is in me that he is with me that my wife loves me that I'm that I'm a good husband. Even if I didn't put the most viral video out on Instagram today. Does my wife love me was that present with my daughter. I mean, she's only five months, she's not going to remember a lot of, of dad right now. But soon enough, she's gonna remember this version of dad, who's with her, but not really with her. Because I'm just trying to get a few more things accomplished. And I'm trying to achieve a few more things that again, as a driven leader, this is really difficult for me, I'm really reevaluating all of my, my priorities and what matters most and rediscovering I know all the right things to say, well, you know who I am in Christ, and, but it's really God's doing a deep work in me as a leader, to lead from the place of being in in unity with him, and being content with who I am, instead of leading from a place of finding my validation in what I do.
David Mckeown 22:29
Yeah, I like that. I like that. Hey, let's let me give you a couple of quickfire questions. All right, let's go. So you can do this quick, but a great question. And I don't want to miss them. So but quickfire What what are you most excited about? And what are you most challenged about?
Dustin Stradley 22:48
I think the opportunity, this is one of the same the opportunity to pioneer the next version of God's Church. Like, of course, of course, the churches is not a building. It's God's people. And people's habits and mindsets are always evolving. So it's been interesting over the past couple of years, yet invigorating, in regards to building the next version of God's Church. And I'm not sure that anyone has it figured out yet. But it's an exciting challenge. And if you do, like, let's connect off this and you give me all the secrets on how to do that,
David Mckeown 23:28
Hey, can I say that that actually could be a good, a good, a good second podcast, we may get you back again to talk about that in more detail, because it's quick fire this one. But I really want to dive into that. But I'm gonna resist. Because we may come back to that we're gonna resist,
Dustin Stradley 23:46
exercise the discipline to stay focused. And we'll come back to that.
David Mckeown 23:49
It's hard that one because it's it's packed, it's packed. It's the next one is who has inspired you the most and why
Dustin Stradley 23:59
that'd be my dad. Why more? His consistency. So, consistency and commitment is a rare value in today's culture, but it's a superpower of my dad's. He prayed for me every day before I was even born into this world. And he has prayed for me. Every day since I've walked on this earth. He's worked the same job for over 45 years now. With the same positive attitude, integrity, intense work ethic, and he leverages that job. He works at a chemical plant. He leverages that the job as an opportunity to reach people for Christ. He's, he's consistent. He's consistently encouraging he's consistent in spending intimate time with God, and he wakes up at 4am every day before he goes into work, and he would just fall flat on his face and the word of God and just cry out to God every single day. He doesn't have a podcast, you won't see any videos from him on youtube, you'll never hear a tweetable statement that everyone's sharing on Instagram, he doesn't know how to turn a computer on. Seriously. He just got his first smartphone, just got his first smartphone, and we had to train him on how to use a smartphone. But this man has more joy and peace than most I've seen. And he invent he evangelises better than most I know he's committed to God. He's committed to his family. He's committed to his Church, he's consistent. So that's been a great, great, great model for me. Throughout my life. He's my hero.
David Mckeown 25:48
Okay, and a big shout out to Dad say, say that you've been on this podcast until him we commend them for that. We'd like him on the podcast, because he likes he likes to be behind the scenes. There's nothing you're saying there's something powerful about just being I suppose being hidden and not being upfront. There's a little bit of something.
Dustin Stradley 26:09
Yeah, absolutely.
David Mckeown 26:12
Hey, listen, we're gonna head to our final questions that are bonus question today. Before we wrap up, it's been brilliant. to have you on the podcast, we've had some fun. And we could certainly get you back for some of this stuff as well. But here's the final question, we'd like to ask our guests, which is a reporter's question, which is this, what is the one question, the one that's asking you that you wish they would? And what is your answer to that question?
Dustin Stradley 26:42
was a tough question, Dave. Why you're gonna put me on the spot like that.
David Mckeown 26:45
That's kind of it's got to be final.
Dustin Stradley 26:51
Oh, so much pressure. So much pressure? No, I mentioned it. I mentioned it earlier. Why? Yeah. Like, it's easy to live in? How or what? Like, what are we doing today? And how can we accomplish that? What's on my calendar? What diet plan? Should I try? And how does that work? Those are not bad questions. I'm a leader who's bias towards action, not bad questions, and they should be asked to how often? Dave, you and I both know, does that not work? How many people have tried all the new diet plans, but none of them seem to work? How many people start there and never finish it? So I think sometimes we forget to ask the most important question. It is the question we should start with. And that's why why is the thing that will wake me up every morning to accomplish the what? And figure out the how. Yeah, and if your why is specific and strong enough, you can figure out anyhow. Yeah, like, why am I doing this? Why am I working so hard to push this initiative forward? Or to build this or to go to this place? And it has to be emotional? And maybe my wife and your wife can evolve over time? Yeah, absolutely. My, my wife for certain things. I mean, my my future wife, and my daughter was my wife before I was married. Some some of my habits. I began to change long before I was married. Because I thought to myself, the decisions I'm making right now are not always only going to affect me, at some point, they're going to affect my future wife, and my future kids. So why do I want to change these habits? Not just because I heard it inspirational. I read an inspirational book, and it told me I should change these habits. But why why for me? Well, I want to build up generational blessings for my children and their children. That's why I do a budget every day, a boring budget every single day, I look at a spreadsheet. My wife and I talked about numbers all the time. We didn't always do that. I don't like doing that. I was the worst at math for the longest time. But why did we do that? Because we want to build up something for our daughter that maybe we never had. Yeah. And for for her children at some point that they never had. We want to be insanely generous. God has given us everything that we had, and we just want to be an open vessel to let that flow through. So why don't we put together a budget every single day and talk about every single day? Not just because someone told us we needed to put a budget together as to I mean, but just be boringly consistent and start with the question why? Why am I doing this? That motivates me to open up the spreadsheet that motivates me to send the email That motivates me to send a text message motivates me to get out of bed and go for a run this morning when I think about some of the health issues of people around me as they've gotten older and maybe didn't prioritise that, why, why, why, why that's much more motivating and deeper than just what should I do to date? Or how should I get there?
David Mckeown 30:21
Yeah, I love that bit bigger than the how and bigger than what? So your question is, ask the why. And maybe that's the thing that leaders should be doing, whether it's a ministry, or even, hey, they're running the Church, why are we doing this the way we're doing it as a great question to think through. And that would lead nicely into your your thought on sort of the thing that challenges you. And the thing that excites you is about building the Church for the future around that idea. And I think I think we, we may have to come back to this at some point, because it's just triggered something in me that I think I'll need to pick up. But for today, it is not a rock. And hey, listen, it has been so good to have you with is the hallway from sunny Florida. Thank you for taking the time early in the morning. It's late in the afternoon for us, but thank you for being with us. People want to connect with you or find you. Hey, should they do that?
Dustin Stradley 31:20
First, Dave, thank you. I love what God's doing through you. What's happening through opportunities like this, how many leaders you're helping in different industries, different businesses, different churches, your ability to network and connect with people is unmatchable. It's amazing. So, so keep up the great work and, and we're here to support you and we're cheering you on every step of the way. Instagram, it's just my full name. Try to make it easy. Dustin Stradley. You can add me on Facebook, Dustin Stradley. Email Dustin strategy@gmail.com tried to keep it consistent, as simple as possible.
David Mckeown 31:54
Fantastic. Well, we want to say a big thank you for being with us today. And we want to say to all our listeners, if they want to get some free resources to help them their Church and their team. They can head on over to our website, IKON dot Church forward slash resources. They can pick up some free resources and we just want to bless them as well. Check in right Yeah, absolutely. And again, if you listen to the podcast, let somebody know about it. Subscribe if you're whatever platform you're on and let people know where to find this because they too, hopefully will enjoy what we have talked about today.
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